Lesson Three: Description

[caution]

Lesson Three: Description

In this lesson I would like to address the words of role-play. For now I'll stick with the scenery.

"The stallion walked into the meadow."

Okay, we have a sentence, but not a very good one. How can we fix this? Simple, describe the clearing.

"The stallion entered a clearing bathed in sunlight."

That's even better! But it's still not enough. Where did he come from, is it windy, cold, hot, early, late, etc. It was a late afternoon with a strong wind.

"The stallion enters the sun bathed clearing, surprised by the forceful gale that greeted him."

Now then, we have ourselves a decent sentence. What we are lacking is the rest of the paragraph.

"The stallion entered a sun bathed clearing, surprised by the forceful gale that greeted him. He stood in the late afternoon sun, arching his thick neck, soaking up the suns rays. The wind pressed the grasses around him to the earth, nearly flattening the tall, stiff stalks, and attempted to make off with his man and tail. He snorted and pawed the ground."

There we go! Now we have an opening paragraph! From here we can continue to my next step, the transitions, and thoughts of the character. Paragraphs transition between ideas. This transition can be subtle, or flagrant. It depends on your mood as the writer.

"The stallion entered a sun bathed clearing, surprised by the forceful gale that greeted him. He stood in the late afternoon sun, arching his thick neck, soaking up threes suns rays. The wind pressed the grasses around him to the earth, nearly flattening the tall, stiff stalks, and attempted to make off with his man and tail. He snorted and pawed the ground.

Spring was not his favorite season. He detested the gaiety of the season with a fierce passion."

Here I have boldly transitioned to the character as my focus, the transition was fluid because I continued to remark upon the weather.

". . .

Spring was not his favorite season. He detested the gaiety of the season with a fierce passion. He was not averse to the season because of past transgressions, but because of the idiots that he always ran into. Mares with foals rushing away from the safety of their mothers sides, angsty stud colts lurking about herds, poaching, and the ever dreaded 'i love you more,' ' no I love you more' couples. Spring disgusted him every where he turned to look. Love was in the air."

Here I have delved into his thoughts. His personality is surfacing with subtle hints. 1) we know he hates spring. 2) we know why he hates spring *listed* and 3) we know how much he hates spring. But maybe he is just grouchy because he is old, or perhaps he is an unsuccessful bachelor giving up and turning cynical. Whatever you decide, flow with it. For me he is going to be the unsuccessful bachelor turned cynic.

". . .

. . .

Andarste stamped thee ground and huffed. ' stupid fools,' he thought, ' with their games and giggles. All fools' Andy was not an old horse. He had just reached his prime, 5 years, and s hundred battles lost. Not a fangled mare his, no lands to claim, no foals to continue hours bloodline, Andy was beginning to doubt himself. Perhaps he really was a failure. Perhaps father was right and Andy would amount to nothing. 'no!' He thought, ' father is wrong! I will be somebody one day!' He bugled and charged a stay mare. He had been following the herd for many days, waiting for them to drop their guard."

You see? A few descriptive words and some fuller sentences and there you go! A whole post (or an opening to a dramatic post!) How did I achieve this? I introduced the setting, off of which a reply may be started, I brought out a character and opened his mind to the reader AND I brought a reason for his current location.
All you need is some nouns, adjectives, a subject and a setting to make a good post.

Don't be afraid to ramble a bit, rambling tends to bring insight into the character and - while it ends in long posts it gives any role players that wish to respond plenty to work with. Always, always, always double check what you're writing/replying to to make sure you don't change settings or cause conflicting thoughts ('he hated spring' and then in a new paragraph 'spring was his favorite season' would be conflicting thoughts).

Bringing personality into a post is a good thing. It brings depth and life to your character and leaves you with more to work off of in your next post, not just other people!